Shine! 2026 | Retreat Reflections

Personal Retreat Reflections as a Facilitator -

Several years ago, an organizational development peer and protégé, who was shadowing me to learn the ropes, said to me, "you create and hold space for people." I found that both alarming and charming -- Creating space and holding spaces felt a bit mystical --  aren't meeting rooms, living rooms, campfires simply spaces unto themselves?  This instinct, though, is part of why I was drawn to facilitating retreats.

Even as I wrapped my head around the creation and holding of space, I have always felt and referred to learning environments as sacred spaces.  As I have continued to practice organization development, facilitation, and coaching, I have come to attend to the purpose of facilitating learning and transformation as more than the exchange of information.  This sense has been advanced by my own practices of yoga, meditation, journalling, and mindfulness, as the space is not only around us, it is within us. 

My professional practice has evolved to the point where creating and holding space is my first and most precious charge -- space for each individual to come into the environment and experience safety and express vulnerability, curiosity, and hope -- and a space for the several individuals as well, to experience and express community.   

One of the most precious aspects to me of Elate retreats is the intuitive, instinctive, and affirming drive we all have to create and contribute to community.

At Elate retreats, through the shared work, ten people arrive. Connections form. At the end, a community departs, strengthened by the threads of shared experience and vulnerability that affirm the power of human connection,

Retreating begins with the Self -- the choice to honor Self, invest in Self, nurture Self.  The space that is created lifts up each person and orients them to a broader sense of one-ness -- not "I am the same as others" -- more about, "Alone or with others, I am a unique and powerful person who co-creates my experience and the experience that of others."  

This.  This is the opportunity of Elate. Self-leadership, self-compassion, self-trust, self-forgiveness, self-honoring. 

In learning and retreat spaces there can be a natural resistance to just "dropping in" and "being."  Being in community, though, changes the game.  Let me share how community increases the quality of the experience.

One recent guest at Elate's Shine! retreat shared that she "was so nervous about being vulnerable with a group of strangers but everyone was so welcoming and the nervousness went away right away. I cannot remember the last time I felt so comfortable in a group setting like that. I feel like I truly have a network of strong women who are on a similar journey that I can reach out to and continue to build ties with." 

Another, striving to "achieve" and "show up ready" read ahead in the guidebook, and grew overwhelmed by just the potential of the experience -- she stepped away for a bit to explore the tension she was experiencing.  Others in the group noticed -- and cared about -- her absence.  It also led her and me to a wonderful discussion about not having to "be ready" to Shine!  Showing up, being with, instead of "being ready" in a group environment allows you to process at your own pace and be lifted up and spurred forward by the reflections and experiences of those with you. 

Which also brings me to one of the most important learnings I have culled from the retreats I have organized and led.  Being a professional facilitator can at times feel lonely. Facilitating is usually “neutral and impartial” and attention and intention are focused outward. The quality of experiences I create for others through Elate pulls forward my natural desire to connect with others in a meaningful way, demonstrating must have both a willingness to be more vulnerable and an ability to be with myself AND others.  This is “the work” – and sets an example for our attendees while honoring and respecting the precious, perfectly imperfect humanity in all of us, including me!

In the corporate space I facilitate, train, and coach independently, my clients’ trust allowing me the space to perform to my highest potential.  Elate has afforded me relief from carrying the work alone. You cannot be hyper-independent in community – and while I have for so long chosen to carry this very deep and heavy work alone, I have come to recognize it is a coping mechanism developed at some point to keep me safe from being let down, disappointed by, or abandoned by others. 

Elate has shown me that creating, building, and holding sacred spaces for others, and doing it well, happens WITH others -- with amazing, intuitive, present, intentional, and purposeful partners. It happens through the voices who envision and build the space, the members of the circle who create the connections through their exchanges and reflections, and the trusting relationships with body and healing practitioners, artists, gentle organizers, and chefs who co-created the experience of Shine! 2026.

-- Ultimately, Shine! has show me that elevated learning and transformational experiences happen with others, in community, with with intentionality, partnership, trust, vulnerability, and purpose.  Elate isn’t mine – it is ours.

Thank you to the people who are attending, you are the bright sparks of Shine! What a gift it has been.  I look forward to our next spaces  -- where we lift ourselves and others up.

A Conversation on Environment

The car that got me through Idaho winters, that turned into my sweet, all-season ride in Santa Barbara.

When I was in college I had a camouflage Volkswagen Thing -

You could see the road through the floorboards, the heater was fed by the gas tank, with the ever-present potential to combust, and the windows were plastic. 

Why camo? It came into my life at a time and in a space where I felt unseen and had to find some way to express myself – to be seen. (Yes, I now see the irony of asking for a car paint that conceptually made me invisible).

In the coldest weather the plastic windows would crack, and any hill could only be ascended in first gear, the little engine behind me screaming in frustration.  One long trip from northern to southern Idaho in winter left me with frostbite on my fingertips.

But, oh – when I moved to Santa Barbara, my little Thing with the top down, great gas mileage – it moved me, defined me.  Gave me sweet pleasure in the sunshine and warmth, roared down the hills freed by gravity, in its top gear.  It was elation.

Context is everything; it was the same car on the cold rolling hills of the northern Idaho Palouse as well and on the bright, sunny streets of Santa Barbara.  I was much the same as well, however the context impacted me greatly.  Like the little car, in one place I could thrive, in the other, more inhospitable space, it was all about surviving.   

How does context impact our development?  What does the environment do to our ability to learn and grow?

The human brain has plasticity – the ability to continue to make connections, literally until we die.  It how those who have had brain damage or lost a limb can recover critical skills.

 Or learn a new language, or pick up piano in retirement – or practice a new and precious kind of presence that allows us to be with self, grow self, know self.

When we feel safe, secure we are more open to experiences.  When not, when our brain is in fight or flight, freeze or fawn, we lose our ability to critically think.  Thriving versus surviving.

That is what Elate is about – step away from the context that keeps us in habit, in the cold, and bring ourselves into the warmth of human connection and mutual purpose.